Showing posts with label happy child. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happy child. Show all posts

Thursday, May 7, 2020

Children do not always need to be entertained, sometimes boredom is good for them

Most children are trapped at home due to the outbreak of COVID-19. They must find ways to socialize, do their school work, exercise and entertain themselves.

It is not surprising that parents can hear "I am bored" much more than before.

People hate getting bored. So much so in one study , a quarter of the participants said that they would rather give themselves a painful shock than be in a room without external stimulation (music, books, phones) for 15 minutes.



This shows how much people want to escape the feeling of boredom.

But while boredom causes temporary uncomfortable feelings, it can be good for us in many ways - from stimulating creativity to helping to train our concentration.

Why do we get bored?

Boredom is an emotional state, it is temporary . A bored person has unpleasant feelings, lacks interest in performing tasks and has trouble paying attention .

A bored person has things they can do, they just can't (or don't) get involved in activities.


Leads can come from lack of rest and nutrition, lack of mental stimulation or too much repetition (lack of news). People with a high sensitivity to reward , which means that those who need constant stimulation to feel satisfied, are at risk of getting bored.

Boredom doesn't mean you don't have things to do; you just don't want to do them.

A person can get bored if a task is not stimulating enough, if the work is too hard or too simple and if activities lack meaning and challenge.

Lack of control can also contribute to boredom. In one study , students showed more boredom when an adult chose their leisure activity than when they were allowed to generate their own.

COVID-19 can throw up all these situations - sleepless nights, not enough news and lack of control.

The good and the bad of being bored

Boredom can lead to creativity. Participants in a study showed more divergent thinking (finding multiple uses of objects, creating links between seemingly independent ideas, and generating more creative ideas) after doing a tedious task.

In another study , participants must either complete a boring activity of sorting beans by color or having a fun craft activity before completing a creative task. Participants who had to sort the beans showed a better quality and variety of ideas than those who had made crafts before the creative task.

Creativity shows that when you are bored, people actively seek something stimulating. Creativity is a challenge that meets this need.

Getting bored also helps train our concentration and attention. It is easy to turn to electronic devices to maintain and distract when we are bored, but research shows that devices do not meet boredom.

In fact, this "basic" engagement with our units diminishes our ability to concentrate, manage tasks and find flow .

Sitting with boredom and solving it is an effective way to educate ourselves to concentrate and undergo hard or monotonous tasks.

It teaches us to go to different places in our minds when we do not have external stimulation. In other words, our mind gets a workout. Sadness is good for us and it is good for your child.

Solutions to boredom

So if you think your child is getting tired, you don't have to feel guilty about not maintaining them.

Instead, consider the following:


  • Make sure your child is not just hungry or tired because everything can feel sad then. It's not boredom, just a lack of energy to participate in an activity



  • there are unusual times where a lot feels out of control, so see how you can give your child new daily choices (for example, a menu for the day, where you have dinner or what order they do their school work)



  • Do not feel guilty or responsible for stopping this "Terrible Experience" for your children. They can develop internal resources (attention, self-regulation, creativity) by having to solve the boredom problem themselves.



  • Teach your child not to be afraid of the feelings that come with boredom, but excited. Boredom is a signal that indicates change is needed . Help them create ideas and then choose one to get involved in. Let them be responsible for the choice. Get them to create a drawer with ideas they can choose from



  • Sadness is sometimes just about getting over the difficult part of getting started. Your child may not be bored, just not knowing where to start. Help them split a task and get started



  • our attention is easily stolen by our mobile devices because they provide a simple distraction. Try setting a timer with your family, switch off your devices and everyone participates in something meaningful for 20 minutes. Creativity shows up in space. You never know what you can achieve if you keep distracting them.

10 steps to raise a happy child

The complexity of today's parenting makes it important to develop some basic principles to guide parents and emphasize the basic concepts that can help parents achieve happy and reach children. Here are the ten best steps to summarize the basic principles to help parents raise a happy child.


1. Praise moderately to avoid pressure; Postpone Super-Praise

Praise conveys your values ​​to your children and sets expectations on them. No praise conveys the message that you do not believe in them. Reasonable praise, such as "good thinker", "hard worker", "smart", "creative", "strong", "kind" and "sensitive" sets high expectations that are within your child's reach. Words like "perfect", "best", "most beautiful" and "brilliant" set impossible expectations.

Children internalize these expectations and expectations become pressure when the children find that they cannot achieve the high goals.

2. Do not discuss children's problem behaviors within their hearing

Discussions about children also set expectations on them. If they hear you talk to grandparents and friends about how jealous or meaningful they are or how shy or scared they are, or if you refer to them as "little devils" or "ADHD children" they assume you are telling the truth and believe that they cannot control these problem behaviors.

3. Take command; Do not monitor your children

Your children need leadership and boundaries to feel secure. Refer the letter V. When children are young, they are at the base of V with few choices, little freedom and small responsibilities that go with that size. As they grow, give them more choices, more freedom and more responsibility. Their boundaries remain. Children will feel trusted.

If you turn that V and children are given too many early choices and freedoms, they feel empowered too soon. They violate rules and responsibilities and feel as if you are taking away their freedom. They expect to be treated as adults before they are ready. They became angry, depressed and rebellious.

4. Build Elasticity Don't save your child from reality

Although children need to develop sensitivity, overprotection of addiction and hypersensitivity encourages. You can be kind without being oversized. Your children will need to learn to recover from losses and failures, and resilience will allow them to overcome obstacles.

5. Bo United, be willing to compromise and say good things about your child's other parent

Leaders in a family leading in two opposite directions confuse children. Children will not respect parents who do not show respect for each other. Turning your child's other parent into an "ogre" or "dummy" will make you feel like a good parent temporarily, but your sabotage will be fired and your children will no longer respect any of you. This is especially difficult after divorce, but it is even more important in divided families.

6. Keep teachers, education and learning with great regard; Make your children's education a priority

This ideal becomes clearer if they hear how much you value. Tell them about the best teachers you had and raise their teachers as well. Set expectations of higher education early so they will assume that education does not end after high school.

7. Be positive about your own work and that of your child's other parent

If you walk in the door and complain about your work daily, your children will be children at work. They will complain about their school work and household chores. If you do not like your work, try to find better work and remind them that education gives more job choices.

8. Be a role model for ethics, activity and hard work

Find other good role models for your children. Your children are watching you. As you "get away" progress, hold too much change, or are disrespectful to your mother (their grandmother), they will notice. When you are interesting and energetic, they become equally impressed.

You can be a good role model without being perfect, but your flaws are displayed. You don't have to do everything. Introduce your children to friends and mentors who will also be positive influences.

9. Enjoy learning experiences with your child

Too many parents of twenty-year-olds have been sitting in my office because they couldn't find time for their children when they were growing up. Make time to learn with your children, and they will be teachers forever. You will not regret it, just memories.

10. Keep a separate fun time and adult status without giving adult status for a short time

Enjoy adult life without your children. Weekdays and a few adult vacations a year will keep you excited about life. Give your children something to look forward to. They can watch and wait and do children's activities with the family. Children who receive adult privileges have responsibilities beyond their maturity.

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