The Economy of New Baby - 5 Tips

Having children is fantastic. It is also expensive at the same time. A survey shows that the most necessary for a newborn child costs at least $150 per month and that the cost then only increases. You may also need to change your car several times during your toddler's life. In addition, income goes down for some time during parental leave.

Counting on the kroner and the penny may feel a bit jarring, but it is a reality that one, as a parent, has to assume when planning the economy. To make the fantastic trip with the child or children as smooth as possible during the first years, you can take a closer look at our 5 tips.

1. Plan your economy well before 

During pregnancy, you should not only prepare yourself mentally that you will soon be more in the household. You should also start planning for a worse economy. No matter what the economy looks like today, and no matter what the parental allowance will look like, it will be tougher from before.

An excellent tip is to start driving around the household early on a lower total income. Why not try to live on what you will have together when the baby is born? What remains when you live more sparingly, you can put away a buffer for the first year. Expenses, both small and large, are guaranteed to be more than you expect! Also try to review any private loans and the like, and if possible pay a little extra.

2. Plan the economy on an ongoing basis during the toddler years

In the midst of leaving, picking up, jobs, possible leisure time, horrible November evenings, mortgages and other things that belong to the toddler's life, it is trying to get time and energy to plan the economy on an ongoing basis. This is easier said than done, but it is necessary to keep the economy resilient to unforeseen events.

Our tip is to perhaps review the costs in the household once a month and make priorities. It can be anything from a subscription to a mortgage. Does the household need both Netflix, HBO and Viaplay? Do you have the lowest mortgage rate you can get, or is there a place to negotiate? The basic idea is to erase everything that does not provide the quality of life you are looking for for you and your new, larger family.

3. Put the child and family happiness first

Toddler life goes away faster than you think. One day you wake up and discover that the period of small children at home is over! When you are in the midst of it, toddler life can many times be perceived as, to say the least, troublesome, but at the same time, the joys are many.

Try to make the joys as many as possible, both for you and the child (s). One way to do that is to focus both energy and economy on what is most important. For example, list all expenses and see which ones support a happy toddler's life and which ones do not. The latter you can completely and completely demolish.

4. Get support from family

Getting help from family and friends with childcare is one thing that can really help in the hectic toddler life. Spending a moment with your partner or spouse without children can provide much needed energy and a much needed respite. These moments can also be used to go through the economy and make any changes to make everything work the way you want.

You can also get support in the financial life with small children through smart apps that present your finances to you black and white. Apps that categorize your income and purchases can make it easier when you want to keep track of where your money is going. In addition, if there are built-in budget functions and opportunities to pay bills directly in the app, it is of course even better. In short, there are good opportunities to put the economy on autopilot, saving you both time and energy.

5. Smarter purchasing and reuse

As a child, a child costs very large amounts every month. Therefore, it is not foolish to think about how the purchase of things for the child should go to. Buying second hand is always a good tip. Many times you can find clothes, toys, trolleys and other equipment at very low prices. The block, groups on Facebook, contacts from friends and acquaintances as well as flea markets are great ways to find used things for the child. The great thing is that clothes and trolleys, for example, are often in very good condition. Young children grow out of clothes and equipment very quickly - which is precisely a reason not to buy new.

Once your / your children have grown out of their things you can get back some of the money by selling them second hand for example on Facebook Marketplace or flea markets.

How to get your child to try new foods - five tried and tested tips

Most children have a fairly definite taste, often to their parents' great frustration. Chances are that your little eye candy is no exception, and that every time new food is introduced, it presents a really big challenge. Even when it comes to dishes that should be appetizing and interesting for you, your child will refuse to even try it. The vast majority of children like what they already know and have tasted since before, and what they do not know is they probably not even willing to try.
We've put together five tips on how to make this process easier, and turn your little foodie into a real gourmet.

1. Introduce small amounts at a time

Just the sight of a plate full of food that the child has never seen or tasted can deter most people. Although you know the meal is super good, your child does not know it yet, and will instinctively be suspicious . Therefore, the only sense is to start by putting only a small amount of the new food on the plate and filling the rest of it with food that they already know.

2. Encourage tasting instead of a full meal

Do not be upset if the child approaches the food with enthusiasm and then screw it up, and express disgust for it just to put it in his mouth. Instead of trying to persuade them to eat it all, ask if they just want a little chewy bite, and explain that if they just taste it, they don't have to eat it all. If you continue to do this, the next time you serve the same food you can slowly increase the amount.

3. Involve the child in cooking

New food looks much less threatening if you let the child in when you prepare and cook it. By engaging the little one in cooking, and even on the shopping trip, they have already established a relationship with what is to be tasted long before food day. The stronger the relationship they know about the food, the less reluctant they will be when it's time to eat it.

4. Present the new food in a familiar way

Since you already know what the child likes to eat, and what it usually looks like when you serve it, you can use this knowledge with great advantage when presenting the new food, and so on ways make the unknown more familiar. In the first stage, all dramatization of new and foreign is recommended.

5. Praise your child when they try something new

There will be times when your child eats most of the new food you present to them, new acquaintances are made and new favorite flavors develop. Do not forget that every time your child actually takes the step and try something new praise them for the open mind. Reward is always an effective means, and your approval may very well affect their way of trying new ingredients and dishes - a little extra confidence can never be wrong in bringing down everything in front of one on the plate.

Children do not always need to be entertained, sometimes boredom is good for them

Most children are trapped at home due to the outbreak of COVID-19. They must find ways to socialize, do their school work, exercise and entertain themselves.

It is not surprising that parents can hear "I am bored" much more than before.

People hate getting bored. So much so in one study , a quarter of the participants said that they would rather give themselves a painful shock than be in a room without external stimulation (music, books, phones) for 15 minutes.

This shows how much people want to escape the feeling of boredom.

But while boredom causes temporary uncomfortable feelings, it can be good for us in many ways - from stimulating creativity to helping to train our concentration.

Why do we get bored?

Boredom is an emotional state, it is temporary . A bored person has unpleasant feelings, lacks interest in performing tasks and has trouble paying attention .

A bored person has things they can do, they just can't (or don't) get involved in activities.


Leads can come from lack of rest and nutrition, lack of mental stimulation or too much repetition (lack of news). People with a high sensitivity to reward , which means that those who need constant stimulation to feel satisfied, are at risk of getting bored.

Boredom doesn't mean you don't have things to do; you just don't want to do them.

A person can get bored if a task is not stimulating enough, if the work is too hard or too simple and if activities lack meaning and challenge.

Lack of control can also contribute to boredom. In one study , students showed more boredom when an adult chose their leisure activity than when they were allowed to generate their own.

COVID-19 can throw up all these situations - sleepless nights, not enough news and lack of control.

The good and the bad of being bored

Boredom can lead to creativity. Participants in a study showed more divergent thinking (finding multiple uses of objects, creating links between seemingly independent ideas, and generating more creative ideas) after doing a tedious task.

In another study , participants must either complete a boring activity of sorting beans by color or having a fun craft activity before completing a creative task. Participants who had to sort the beans showed a better quality and variety of ideas than those who had made crafts before the creative task.

Creativity shows that when you are bored, people actively seek something stimulating. Creativity is a challenge that meets this need.

Getting bored also helps train our concentration and attention. It is easy to turn to electronic devices to maintain and distract when we are bored, but research shows that devices do not meet boredom.

In fact, this "basic" engagement with our units diminishes our ability to concentrate, manage tasks and find flow .

Sitting with boredom and solving it is an effective way to educate ourselves to concentrate and undergo hard or monotonous tasks.

It teaches us to go to different places in our minds when we do not have external stimulation. In other words, our mind gets a workout. Sadness is good for us and it is good for your child.

Solutions to boredom

So if you think your child is getting tired, you don't have to feel guilty about not maintaining them.

Instead, consider the following:

• Make sure your child is not just hungry or tired because everything can feel sad then. It's not boredom, just a lack of energy to participate in an activity

• there are unusual times where a lot feels out of control, so see how you can give your child new daily choices (for example, a menu for the day, where you have dinner or what order they do their school work)

• Do not feel guilty or responsible for stopping this "Terrible Experience" for your children. They can develop internal resources (attention, self-regulation, creativity) by having to solve the boredom problem themselves.

• Teach your child not to be afraid of the feelings that come with boredom, but excited. Boredom is a signal that indicates change is needed . Help them create ideas and then choose one to get involved in. Let them be responsible for the choice. Get them to create a drawer with ideas they can choose from

• Sadness is sometimes just about getting over the difficult part of getting started. Your child may not be bored, just not knowing where to start. Help them split a task and get started

• our attention is easily stolen by our mobile devices because they provide a simple distraction. Try setting a timer with your family, switch off your devices and everyone participates in something meaningful for 20 minutes. Creativity shows up in space. You never know what you can achieve if you keep distracting them.

10 steps to raise a happy child

The complexity of today's parenting makes it important to develop some basic principles to guide parents and emphasize the basic concepts that can help parents achieve happy and reach children. Here are the ten best steps to summarize the basic principles to help parents raise a happy child.

1. Praise moderately to avoid pressure; Postpone Super-Praise

Praise conveys your values ​​to your children and sets expectations on them. No praise conveys the message that you do not believe in them. Reasonable praise, such as "good thinker", "hard worker", "smart", "creative", "strong", "kind" and "sensitive" sets high expectations that are within your child's reach. Words like "perfect", "best", "most beautiful" and "brilliant" set impossible expectations.

Children internalize these expectations and expectations become pressure when the children find that they cannot achieve the high goals.

2. Do not discuss children's problem behaviors within their hearing

Discussions about children also set expectations on them. If they hear you talk to grandparents and friends about how jealous or meaningful they are or how shy or scared they are, or if you refer to them as "little devils" or "ADHD children" they assume you are telling the truth and believe that they cannot control these problem behaviors.

3. Take command; Do not monitor your children

Your children need leadership and boundaries to feel secure. Refer the letter V. When children are young, they are at the base of V with few choices, little freedom and small responsibilities that go with that size. As they grow, give them more choices, more freedom and more responsibility. Their boundaries remain. Children will feel trusted.

If you turn that V and children are given too many early choices and freedoms, they feel empowered too soon. They violate rules and responsibilities and feel as if you are taking away their freedom. They expect to be treated as adults before they are ready. They became angry, depressed and rebellious.

4. Build Elasticity Don't save your child from reality

Although children need to develop sensitivity, overprotection of addiction and hypersensitivity encourages. You can be kind without being oversized. Your children will need to learn to recover from losses and failures, and resilience will allow them to overcome obstacles.

5. Bo United, be willing to compromise and say good things about your child's other parent

Leaders in a family leading in two opposite directions confuse children. Children will not respect parents who do not show respect for each other. Turning your child's other parent into an "ogre" or "dummy" will make you feel like a good parent temporarily, but your sabotage will be fired and your children will no longer respect any of you. This is especially difficult after divorce, but it is even more important in divided families.

6. Keep teachers, education and learning with great regard; Make your children's education a priority

This ideal becomes clearer if they hear how much you value. Tell them about the best teachers you had and raise their teachers as well. Set expectations of higher education early so they will assume that education does not end after high school.

7. Be positive about your own work and that of your child's other parent

If you walk in the door and complain about your work daily, your children will be children at work. They will complain about their school work and household chores. If you do not like your work, try to find better work and remind them that education gives more job choices.

8. Be a role model for ethics, activity and hard work

Find other good role models for your children. Your children are watching you. As you "get away" progress, hold too much change, or are disrespectful to your mother (their grandmother), they will notice. When you are interesting and energetic, they become equally impressed.

You can be a good role model without being perfect, but your flaws are displayed. You don't have to do everything. Introduce your children to friends and mentors who will also be positive influences.

9. Enjoy learning experiences with your child

Too many parents of twenty-year-olds have been sitting in my office because they couldn't find time for their children when they were growing up. Make time to learn with your children, and they will be teachers forever. You will not regret it, just memories.

10. Keep a separate fun time and adult status without giving adult status for a short time

Enjoy adult life without your children. Weekdays and a few adult vacations a year will keep you excited about life. Give your children something to look forward to. They can watch and wait and do children's activities with the family. Children who receive adult privileges have responsibilities beyond their maturity.

How to give the baby a happy start in life?

Few adults today would put together the way they were treated as infants with problems they might experience in their adult lives. Still, people who undergo primal therapy and other profoundly regressive emotional therapies become just too painfully aware of these problems. For a long time in therapy, I have struggled with my pain over my overwhelming loneliness as a toddler. I was neither breastfed nor raised in my arms often enough to meet my needs. I was also forced to sleep alone at night from birth.

My therapist recently gave me a book to read because it so clearly confirmed what I experienced during my therapy with him. I would like to share this. It is a book based on archeology and called The Prehistory of Sex. It is authored by Timothy Taylor and published by Bantam Books in 1997. The interesting section can be found on pages 189-191.

Taylor states that children in hunter and gatherer communities continue to breastfeed until the age of five or six. They receive a strong comfort from the unconditional love that breastfeeding provides. From this experience, they learn confidence, confidence and ability to participate. The author points out that they do not become dependent at all as individuals, but instead show remarkable independence because they have a strong inner sense of their own worth.

He points out that the opposite is often the case in warrior societies. Often, the child is kept away from colostrum (the mother's first milk). It is usually followed by early weaning. Because of this, the child is left with an unresolved pain, anger, helplessness and anger that it cannot understand and cannot express.

This easily develops later in life into either depression or aggressive and violent tendencies, which can be targeted and acted upon by another person or group of people. In this way, such a society resembles a warrior society. (Swiss psychoanalyst Alice Miller discusses a similar phenomenon in her book In the Beginning, Upbringing, Wahlström and Widstrand 1995, English title For Your Own Good: The Roots of Violence in Childrearing .)

Currently, doctors and professional pediatricians teach a method they call the five minute method. Parents are encouraged to use it to make their children more independent. Timothy Taylor has a deeper understanding of what it actually does with the infant.

He says that in order for early weaning to be successful, one must leave the child to sleep alone and ignore the crying. With the five minute method, you let the child cry a little more each night before satisfying its need for food and comfort. As a result, the child eventually stops crying completely. At that point, ignorant parents may become fond of the belief that the child has been trained in better habits.

Timothy Taylor argues that what really happens is the opposite - that a basic animal instinct is activated - as has been observed in mammals and chicks. The infant instinctively feels: "If I signal my distress and no one comes, then I have been abandoned. I will die if I do not save my powers. To cry takes on the forces. So, to survive, I have to stop crying and shield myself. " But before the child stops crying, it must take in the realization that it has been abandoned.

The consequence of this is very serious. Taylor refers to Martin Seligman's theory of "learned helplessness". He argues that if a child cries and its cry is not taken into account and its needs are not met, it begins to distance itself from reality. It instinctively feels: "It doesn't matter how hard I exert myself, nothing happens and no help comes. So why keep trying? My efforts are meaningless anyway." Such an insight is overwhelming to an infant and to survive, the child pushes that discovery down into the unconscious and tries to fall asleep by feeling numb.

Experiencing failure to influence the environment or calling a caregiver provides a basis for what is called "learned helplessness". The child has learned from the beginning that trying to meet its needs or to assert itself in some way - is meaningless. Tragically, learned helplessness is often the precursor to clinical depression. We need to help parents become aware of the fact that their "well-behaved" toddlers may be at risk of becoming depressed and may continue to be there later in life, if they do not go for years in expensive therapy. Since it is better to prevent than to cure, it is vital that we get that knowledge to new parents as early as possible.

In a dissertation, which was read at an international conference on Kangaroo Mother Care in 1998, a doctor from Cape Town, Dr. Nils Bergman, quotes a research paper by Lozoff et al (1977), who studied how hunter-gathering tribes raised their children. He says: "Common to all these tribes is the fact that newborns are constantly being carried. They sleep with their mothers, they get immediate answers if they cry, they get food every one or two hours and they continue to breastfeed for at least two or three years. " He continues to urge parents to give their children such an education if the human race is to survive.

For most of us, this information is tragically late. Something that makes me sad is that even though my mother was not a warm, caring person, she was conscientious and wanted to do everything right. If books about child care in her day had told her to hold me and comfort me when I was born, to lift me up and carry me close to her body, let me sleep with her, give me food when I was hungry and not leave me to starve for 8 hours every night, she would have followed their instructions. By then, the history of my life would probably have been completely different.

Instead, the doctor told her not to pick me up too often and that under no circumstances should I breastfeed me from 10 in the evening until 6 in the morning because my stomach "needed to rest". (Some of my most distressed toddlers have been about this nightly torment of loneliness and hunger.) As a conscientious mother, she literally followed the doctor's instructions.

She cared anyway that I was crying, so she called the doctor and said, "I can't let my baby cry like this. Shouldn't I really breastfeed her?" His response was: "Whatever you do, do not breastfeed your child before 6 o'clock, as it is harmful to the baby's stomach." So from about 4 o'clock every morning she walked around with me for two hours while I screamed, but she never gave me the breast. Later she told me that it made her feel desperate.

It made me feel desperate too. I showed her as best I could that I was cool and that I was suffering. Still, it seemed that whatever I did, I couldn't make her understand what I needed. It has contributed to problems throughout my life; such as the fear that I will never understand how clearly I express myself. It also left me with a great uncertainty about food and fear of never getting enough. In addition, I was left feeling that I was "bad" and not worthy of getting anything (not even food when I was starving) because I felt my mother's irritation and resentment at being woken up so early in the mornings.

So that's why in my adult life I've had to fight myself through problems with poor self-esteem, feelings of being unworthy, lack of determination, learned helplessness and depression. All this has contributed to my having to spend many years in primal therapy to recover from my childhood, which I - thankfully - am doing now.
There are several good websites on the internet to help parents. Two that I suggest are The Natural Child Project and The Primal Parenting Page.

I recommend them to anyone who is expecting children or planning children in the future. There are links to sites that promote so-called "attachment parenting", where you keep the child in close, loving contact with the mother's (or father's) body during the earliest months of life, so as to feed the child as soon as it is hungry and allow it to sleep near the parents' warm bodies at night to meet the child's need for touch and proximity. Hopefully, this caring and loving way of caring for children will become what parents devote themselves to in the future, just as it was in our distant past. If it doesn't, our future is truly bleak.

Dr. Nils Bergman concluded his speech on Kangaroo Mother Care with these words: "This is an imperative general health requirement. This is how the past has been shaped and our future depends on it."